Cutting the Apron Strings

My first born is getting ready to leave home. I have mixed feelings about this, but not as much as I thought I would years ago. He is 20 1/2 years old now, and in one week he will be moving away to another state to start a new job and a new life in the adult world on his own. He will return in a couple of months to wed his bride, and then off they will go to start their grand adventure.

When he was little I couldn't imagine life without him, or my other children. But the day after he got this job, in another state, he asked me if I was okay with it. I thought about it, and realized that I was. I will miss him greatly, but I'm okay with him moving away. I told him this is how it is supposed to work. My job is done. I will never stop being his Mom, nor stop caring about him, but my job of raising him is over. He is an adult and if his father and I have done our job well, he is ready to begin to do this life without us. He has his faith in Jesus, he has his helpmate, and he has a good foundation.

Our relationship will begin to change as well. Now we can begin to be friends, not just parent/child. No longer do I tell him what to do, but I can offer advice when he asks for it. No longer does he need to obey his Mom, but he can ask for help and wisdom. He is the man of his family, not just my little boy.

Right now he is nervous about the change, he still likes to be in charge, but I think he will blossom when he gets to his new home. It will be good for him and his bride to lean on each other so much in the beginning. I know that when my husband and I had to do that, we grew from that. As much as he is nervous to go, he has been having growing pains to get away from here as well. More and more the urge to "get out of here" grips him. Maybe that is just another one of God's signals that we have done okay, and he is ready to be off to start his life. I told him that night he got the job, it is not natural for the kids to stay with the parents forever. They are entrusted to us by God for a short time to raise them for Him, and then to let them go into the world to form new families.

My son, you are ready to go. Be Blessed by Jesus

Letting Go of Perfection

Letting go of Perfection

I want to say I’m sorry for not getting my article done last month. Life happens, and the Beard household was just a bit out of control last month. I finally just had to give up and make the call that the article was just not going to happen. Which leads me to my topic… so pour a cup of tea, sit down, and consider what I have to share with you.

Do you enjoy long spells of doing absolutely nothing, or are you like me and go stir crazy if you aren’t doing something? I think most women tend to be “busy”. God wired us to give, serve, nurture. We look in Scripture and see example after example of industrious women “looking well to the ways of their households”. We spend great quantities of time making sure we’re getting it all done, and done right. But I wonder if we have the right focus.

We see in Jesus’ encounter with Martha and Mary that our first priority is to spend time with Him, at His feet. That puts our attitudes in a perfect place. When we are close in our relationship with Jesus, we have a greater capacity to extend grace to our family. His priorities are not a perfect house, but a loving home.

I firmly believe that one of the ways Jesus has used my health problems to His glory is the way it has forced me to let go of perfection. I have spent my children’s younger years teaching them how to take care of the house and how to prepare the food, etc. Now they are learning to do it better through lots of practice. But I have to struggle with letting go of perfection, and learning to rest while they are doing the bulk of the work.

Having that cleaned, picked up house is always a struggle for us homeschoolers because we are always there in the home, it never stays done! We need to release that desire for the “perfect house” and instead focus on the loving home. Letting go frees us to allow our children to grow in their ability to take over the household chores. Letting go allows us to focus more on what our family members need that what our house needs. Letting go lets God grow His grace in us.

Give your small child a rag and let him dust the baseboards while you sip your tea. Have your grade school children vacuum while you put up your tired feet and cuddle a little one. Your Jr. Higher or High Schooler can do that bathroom while you read some Scripture and sip some Tension Tamer tea. And when they are done, encourage what they did right, offer tips for the next time, and never re-do what they did! Let go of perfection and hug your children.